Wolpertinger

It has been nearly 10 months since Flippy declared his "War on Cheese." This very afternoon, with no explanation of how or why, Flippy declared the "War on Cheese" was over. This evening, Flippy announced that with his victory in the "War on Cheese," he would now turn his focus toward finding the legendary beast called the Wolpertinger. Tomorrow, we shall set sail from Flippyville to discover this creature. Flippy has appointed one of his relatives to rule in his place until his return. Flippy insists that should we successfully find this creature, we would return to Flippyville as heroes. Until that time, I will seek to keep the people aware of our journey by updating each day I am able to. For now, I must go prepare to set sail tomorrow.

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

War on Cheese

One week later, Flippy still will not explain to us the reason for his War on Cheese. Last night, he sat in his room for two hours, poking a piece of cheese with a stick and asking it questions. After those two hours, he emerged and handed us the cheese saying, "Either it won't talk, or it knows nothing." We reminded him that cheese does not talk and he said, "Well, that was a waste of two hours, then, wasn't it?" Flippy has continued to order all cheese that is found be rounded up and has ordered the dairy makers that they should put a halt to making cheese. It is still unclear the reasons for Flippy's actions, but we hope he shall reveal his motives in time.

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

Cheese

Yesterday evening, Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts, stood up on his balcony and declared, "CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!" This morning, Flippy returned to the balcony and this time declared, "CHEESE FOR NO ONE!!!" Flippy then proceeded to declare war on cheese! Flippy now has the town guard searching the town and rounding up all of the cheese. Flippy refuses to discuss the reasons for this "War on Cheese." Instead, each time he is asked about it, he simply answers, "You will understand in time." More on this to come.

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

Flippy Crisis: Solution

Today, after over a week of odd behavior, five injured guards, and three impromptu one man interpretations of famous musicals, Flippy has emerged from the cave. His behavior has completely changed and he has shown no signs of remembering the events of the past week. The town psychiatrist has attempted to explain this, and can only come to the conclusion that Flippy had a complete mental breakdown. Flippy has since returned to normal and he is perfectly fine.

Sincerely,

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

Flippy Crisis: Day 3

Yesterday was mostly eventless. Flippy remained in the cave and refused to come out for any reason. Last night while we slept, Flippy emerged from the cave. He entered the town and stole everybody's socks! We awoke this morning to find that he had taken all of our socks and when we arrived at the cave, Flippy was weaving our socks into a gigantic sock ball! We've tried to get him to return our socks, but every time a guard approached, he would hit them with a melon. Now, not only is Flippy refusing to come out of the cage, but he has all of our socks in there with him.

Once again, I will continue to update on the situation until such time that it is resolved and Flippy comes out of his cave. I have to go now because he's apparently decided throwing coconuts is a good idea and I think he's liable to hurt somebody.

Sincerely,

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

Flippy has flipped...

It is official, Lord Flippy Johansen, III, The Slayer of Beasts has lost his mind. This morning when I entered his suite to awaken him, Flippy was gone. After some searching, I found that he had climbed out the window, stole the blacksmith's pants and holed up in a cave. We have tried to get him to come out of the cave, but when he came out (walking on his hands no less), he was only out long enough to kick one of the guards and scurry back into the cave. Now, I'm sitting outside the cave, watching him eat the blacksmith's pants.

I will update on the situation once we know more about why Flippy is acting this way. Until then, I need to help the guards, because every time they get close, Flippy kicks them.

Sincerely,

The Warlord Liam Hawk, Defender of Flippyville, Chief Steward of Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts.

Black Sails

Black Sails in Flippyville Harbor! That's what we saw just two weeks before the Flippyville Guitar Hero Tournament was set to begin. In our land, black sails are a sure sign that the ship belongs to pirates. And because of this we knew something must be done.

We set out to meet with those in the ships and found that they intended to block our harbor unless we turned over to them all of our gold. Upon hearing this, Lord Flippy Johansen III, The Slayer of Beasts, slapped the captain of the pirate ship with his fish, and we returned to shore. As we prepared to do battle with the pirates, Flippy jumped into the water and swam at the pirate ship. Upon reaching the ship, he began to headbutt it. Flippy then returned to shore and ordered an attack.

We advanced upon the ships, and the lead ship (the one Flippy had headbutted) suddenly began to sink. As the pirates fled to other ships, we quickly surrounded them and prepared for battle. The captain of the first pirate ship dropped his sword and surrendered. The other pirates soon followed suit as they saw Flippy was now swimming for their ships.

After a brief discussion, the pirates were sent on their way, promising never to return. Having proved victorious in this situation, we all cheered Flippy as we made our way back to the square to begin preparations for the Flippyville Guitar Hero Tournament.